Dating 101

Welcome to the very first edition of a little series of articles I’m writing about dating.

Disclaimer: the following opinions are my own as a straight female dating straight males. Some readers may disagree and that’s cool, we all have our experiences and opinions. At the end of the day, dating is about respect and we need more respect and empathy in this world.

First, let’s talk red flags.

A red flag is a warning sign behaviour that signals the person you’re talking to or on a date with (or already in a relationship with!) is not a good fit.

Here are my top 10:

  1. He talks about himself. Constantly.
  2. He calls himself an asshole. When someone tells you who they are, believe them.
  3. He’s all talk, no dates. No, Netflix and chill is NOT a date.
  4. His eating habits are atrocious. He doesn’t drink water or consume fruit or vegetables EVER?
  5. He treats waitstaff poorly. Pay attention to how someone treats retail workers, servers, etc.
  6. He doesn’t clean up after himself. Who wants to live in a pigsty other than a pig?
  7. Hygiene. If he doesn’t know how to clean himself, that’s a dealbreaker.
  8. Wanting to move in together too quickly.
  9. Lack of commitment. He knows you’re looking for an engagement and marriage, but he hems and haws over it, makes excuses, says marriage only leads to divorce, it’s a ‘cash grab,’ says ‘marriage is just a piece of paper’… Sometimes this goes on for years!
  10. He pushes for sex. Signs of coercion include cajoling, making you feel guilty for saying no, giving the silent treatment, and outright anger. Sex is not a right.

I have ignored the above listed red flags in past dating situations. Obviously, those relationships did not work out well. Now that I clearly know what I DON’T want and what I REFUSE to tolerate, I can do better in the future.

Next time, I’ll talk about my ‘green flags.’